Court Hearings

Family law cases, except in a few limited instances, have hearings open to the public. That being said, many of our local Pinellas County Judges hold their hearings in chambers. Just because they are in chambers, rather than a courtroom, does not make them closed to the public, but it often discourages people not directly involved from sitting in the hearings and makes it somewhat harder to know exactly what hearings are being held and when. Regardless of where a hearing is held the public and the press have a right to attend and sometimes do which is exactly what happened at one of my hearing's yesterday. In general the press' presence is a good and positive thing for our legal system though my clients overwhelmingly prefer hearings held in chambers. When they are held in chambers everyone sits at a large conference table and the proceeding generally seems less formal. In the courtroom the parties must go up to the witness box beside the Judge’s seat and the lawyers stand at the podium when talking. It really depends on the Judge and sometimes the type of hearing as to where the hearing will take place. Letting parties know which location their hearing will be in eases anxiety.

Happy New Year!

Best wishes to all for a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year! All too soon we will return to our normal routines, the holidays behind us and the lull that comes with it, a distant memory. Will your family and friends know that when all is said and done that it is they that matter most? Now is the time I remember not only the families that I represent, but my own. Too often our families and friends are forgotten in the press of what we do day in and day out. Take some time this holiday season to let your friends and families know that you care for them and that they are the most important things in your life. Take your opportunities and resolve to make more in the new year; you can never show those you love that you care too much or too often.

Domestic Violence Injunction

Unfortunately domestic violence occurs and it happens across the spectrum regardless of race, socio-economic level, ethnicity etc... Filing for an Injunction for Protection Against Domestic Violence is often a victim’s attempt to end the contact and get some peace. The Clerk's office has a very good video that describes the process. Most people file for Injunctions without lawyers though many thereafter hire a lawyer to help them through the rest of the process. Injunctions are an absolute necessity in some instances but there are a few occasions where I have also seen them used improperly. It is very disheartening to see some people use them to try to gain a quick and easy custody decision rather than for their real purpose. I do think the Court is pretty good at weeding out the bad filings but it really is waste of everyone’s time and the Court’s resources to have to sort those out. If you know someone who is the victim of domestic violence suggest they call the local abuse resource which here in Pinellas County is C.A.S.A. They can help you form a safety plan and give you some factors to consider in whether or not to file an Injunction.

Carolina Christmas

When I was a kid, back in the dark ages as my children think, my parents usually took us down to Wilmington to see the "World’s Largest Living Christmas Tree." Now I kind of doubt it really is the world’s largest but when I was a kid it sure seemed like it. And actually looking at the picture posted on the web this year it really is impressive. The 79th annual lighting of the tree was earlier this month at Wilmington’s Hilton Park. I read that the massive oak tree covered with Spanish moss is believed to be more than 400 years old and is covered with 5,250 bulbs. It was first lit in 1928 with over 500 lights. Merry Christmas!

Divorce & Christmas

Christmas is almost here. I know many families who are dealing with their first Christmas without the traditional family gathering. There are often disagreements as to where the children are going to go and how the holiday will be divided. As a general rule I ask my clients to put their children first and think about what they want. Remember that its important to start new traditions with your children so they can help adjust to how life and the holidays are going to look when the divorce is final. If anyone has any suggestions on how to help children with their first "divorce" Christmas, I encourage you to post those suggestions here for all other readers.

PAJAMA DAY

Today in my youngest child’s Kindergarten class they are having "Pajama Day." Oh she is so excited she can hardly stand it! She is wearing her favorite Hannah Montana PJs and taking her big soft teddy bear as her nap time toy. Honestly, I really do appreciate her excitement. What’s better than staying cozy in PJs all day?

Exactly what is Probate?

In the last few decades a lot of information on probate has become widely available. Although I think in general, an increase in public information is a positive development, the benefit is obviously dependent on the accuracy of the information. The probate process is really three-fold. First you gather the assets. Second you determine the debts. And third you distribute the estate according to the law. It really is a very systematic method to transfer property to heirs. For me it is also rewarding legal work. Often I drafted the will and knew the decedent well. So though the family is grieving I like that I am able to personally relate to the family and serve as a helper in the process. Probate does take a while. I think that is the complaint I hear most often. But one of the main reasons it takes a few months to resolve is to make sure the heirs actually know for sure what the assets and debts are. If you don’t have a will, please consider having one drafted to make sure your wishes are known and followed.

Responding to a Child Support Case

Many of the matters I handle involve child support establishment or modification. Child support is, in theory, a mathematical calculation that should be relatively easy to determine using the child support guidelines established in Florida Statutes, Chapter 61. The key word there is "should." I often represent parties who have been served with a Petition or Notice by the Florida Department of Revenue (child support enforcement) that a new case has been opened or an old case is being looked at to see if child support should increase. But I sometimes get the sense that people think since it is such a "cut and dry" thing there is no need to really prepare for the hearing. Nothing could be further from the truth. My experience with hearings involving D.O.R. has been that there are too many cases flooding an over burdened system. As a result the Respondent really has to be prepared. No one is going to make sure your rights are protected except you and your lawyer. I have seen many, many erroneous mathematical calculations made that can be difficult, if not impossible, to have undone once ordered. I have been told after the fact about many cases where facts which should have been taken into consideration were not either addressed in Court or not proven. Proof requires preparation including knowledge as to what is relevant to the issue at hand and experience with the rules of evidence. Don’t let time slip away or expect that something that is clearly unjust won’t happen; it’s much better to get it right the first time.

Affordable divorce

Now more than ever before there is a great concern among my clients to keep the fees and costs low in their divorce and custody proceedings. In these troubled economic times, I have heard many people ask, "Can I afford a divorce?" When the State of Florida and the Pinellas County budgets shrank, one way they tried to deal with their problem was by raising the filing fees. It now costs $418.00 to file for divorce and a similar amount to file a Counter-Petition. Used to be there was no fee for the Counter-Petition and the filing fee was a good $50.00 cheaper. To make matters worse, in this economic slump, it’s not just the government’s pocketbook that has shrank but all of ours too. Fortunately the way I practice law lends itself to efficiency. I have always been attuned to the best way to get to the end goal with the least amount of time, stress and money. With all strategic decisions in a case I give my client the potential costs so that can be weighed in the decision making process like all the other factors. Often I work out payment plans for divorce to help those clients that want to get started but are having a hard time with the initial retainer. As a good friend of mine recently said, maybe the silver lining of this economic downturn is the opportunity it gives us all to really help each other. Going through a divorce is often gut wrenching and emotionally draining so I do my best to narrowly define the legal issues and steer my clients on the most direct route to finalization.

Financial Woes Affect School Board Policy

I have been watching the situation unfold with the School Board with a mixture of disappointment and reluctant acceptance. My children, like so many in Pinellas County, go to a school we were able to chose a few years back rather than the one closest to our home. As the school system faces this unparallelled budget crisis I have sympathy for the members trying to figure out ways to literally cut millions of dollars and still educate these children while at the same time I share the frustration of so many parents who took the time to learn about all the schools in our area and pick the one best suited to our family's needs. Now after we are so invested in our school having to move next year is very sad to think about. Then again I know these times might call for drastic changes and we are literally all in this together. So what ever happens we will adapt.

Happy Holidays!

The season is upon us. We have hung our stockings on the mantle. This year we have seven - my children, my Husband, my in-laws, our puppy and my Sister who we have the good luck to have with us this year. Our family's tradition is to go to church on Christmas Eve and then drive or walk (depending on the weather) through our neighborhood to look at all the lights. Our community raises money for Hospice with the neighborhood light display and it is a family party atmosphere with most neighbors outside visiting and chatting. My children always look forward to it and so do I.

Halloween

Every year our family travels to a long time friend's home for their annual "Halloween Porch Party." As the name implies the party is on their front porch. Their home, on Main Street in a small town, was built near the turn of the century and has one of those beautiful wide front porches with a hanging swing and plenty of room for all the party goers. My children love this tradition. So do I. This year I will be accompanying a tiger, Cinderella and a cheerleader to the party. I have not finalized my costume plan yet so I cannot share it now. Last weekend my children and I attended another costume party at our church. It was a small party and much more low-key than the one set for this weekend. But have you ever noticed that no matter the reason, kids love the chance to dress up and pretend. They have such incredible imaginations. What a valuable lesson our kids teach us in their total embrace of make-believe and sheer joyful fun play.

Parenting Plans

Effective October 1st new law goes into effect regarding what is commonly referred to as custody. I say commonly because the current legal terms do not provide for that designation but rather for primary and secondary residential care. The new language change will do away with the terms "primary" and "secondary" residential parent. Instead the Court will devise a parenting plan that will address, among other things, the details of the time-sharing arrangement. The idea is to make the legal designation less of a win-lose but rather start with the notion that both parents will work together and then just try to define who will do what when. I think the idea behind the change is noble but I wonder how parents generally will take to it. Even now custody should not be seen as a win-lose and yet sometimes I have people say just that to me. Pinellas County Circuit Judge John Lenderman has provided the local bar associations sample blank plans and I hope to post or link one on this blog in the near future. It is my understanding that even old cases seeking modification if heard after October 1st will be required to submit the parenting plan so it is something anyone involved in this arena needs to look at closely.

Long range planning

For those of you that have taken any Myers-Briggs type personality tests, you know that one of the things they examine is whether you are future or past oriented. I am truly future oriented. That trait spurs me to work proactively evaluating and planning my clients' cases. It also got me thinking last night why, as a nation, we did not see the "energy crisis" coming and plan better. I wonder if we can do better with the global warming crisis that may be around the corner, if not already here. Long range planning can seem complex or unnecessary in our culture used to immediate gratification but I sure think we can do better. Of course, the main planning I will be doing over the next 2 weeks is keeping my eye on those hurricanes out in the Atlantic. I recommend wunderground.com as a good source on the projected computer models.

Speeches

Being a political science major, I have been intently watching all the political speeches at the Republican National Convention this week and the Democratic National Convention last week. The cadence of the delivery is so interesting to me. When I have given speeches or arguments to the Court, I always find the timing difficult to perceive when I am in the midst of it. For those of you who have heard me talk, especially about something I am passionate about, I really zoom. Judges have told me more than one time to slow down so the Court Reporter can get it all down. For me, that task is next to impossible though I have gotten a little better with age, plus I have learned to give the Court Reporter a copy of all my case cites and often my notes beforehand. I certainly admire those gifted at public speaking as well as those that write the lines we remember.

Conversations

As you can tell from my lack on entries for the last month or so, I've been busy. Now my family is finally getting back into the school year rhythm. Though, my youngest one complains daily about the cafeteria noise ("Don't like it Mama") and I feel for her. Unwanted, loud noise has always bothered me though I know it's something she'll just have to adjust to. In time, I have no doubt she probably be the loudest one in there. It is hard to really communicate in that kind of environment. Sort of analogous to communicating with someone when you don't really mean what you say or say what you mean. I have heard from various experts in my line of work that the key to effective communication is doing just that - saying what you mean and meaning what you say. Easier said than done! What about the person who really doesn't want to hear what you have to say? Or the person who would rather just pretend there is no issue to discuss ... the ignorance is bliss type. What if you are trying to talk to a person like that? I still think you have to try. You can only change your own actions, not others, but still trying to connect is kind of the point. So I guess no matter how loud the chatter or how difficult the subject, you still put one foot in front of the other and try. I hope your background noise settles down to a reasonable level and all your conversations are spirited and true.

Back to school

As you all know the school year is almost beginning. I like this time of year. I really enjoy the Staples commercial where the parents are happily skipping down the aisle clearly celebrating the end of the summer vacation period. Not that I don't enjoy the break from kids' homework, the strict bedtime and all the after-school events, but I also like the change back to a defined schedule. Some of my friends may be surprised by this as I can also be very spontaneous but in every day life certainly when it comes to our children, I think that set plans and expectations produce less problems. And I also associate the start of the school year with fall, the coming holidays and my birthday (though that gets less exciting each year). I know the weather here doesn't change yet but just the thought that it will, if only slightly, gives me some hope and at least a mental break from the monotony of the summer heat.

Future plans

In just a week and a half I will have the great honor of attending a great friend's wedding. In fact, I am in the wedding. I am so excited for her. I hear ya'll out there snickering at the irony - a divorce lawyer excited about a friend's wedding! But of course, I am. She is thrilled and so am I. I see my work as a service to others and really a privilege. Unfortunately in my line of work I am meeting with people in despair and sometimes in crisis. But the good news is very often I am lucky enough to run into old clients a few months or years down the road and outlook is sunnier. I sure appreciate all the people who have allowed me to help support and guide them through their problems and wish for all of them only positive futures.

Happy 4th of July!

Happy Fourth of July - It is a time to remember the freedom we enjoy is a privilege and to give thanks to those who have and are still fighting to preserve this freedom.

Lyndon B. Johnson said,"The American city should be a collection of communities where every member has a right to belong. It should be a place where every man feels safe on his streets and in the house of his friends. It should be a place where each individual's dignity and self-respect is strengthened by the respect and affection of his neighbors. It should be a place where each of us can find the satisfaction and warmth which comes from being a member of the community of man. This is what man sought at the dawn of civilization. It is what we seek today."

Let's hope and pray that one day we will evolve into that community. What we can do for now is for each of us to do our own part each and every day.

Have a Safe Holiday.

Summertime

I used to think "summer" here in Florida was kind of a hollow term, after all it's warm and generally beautiful here year round. If you really think about it the months of June- August are actually the worst weather here, at least the most extreme. But now that my children are school age, I find that old feeling I had as a kid in summer has returned. It's less about the weather and more about freedom from schedules, swimming in the pool everyday, staying up past the normally rigorously enforced "bedtime," visiting relatives and just plain having fun. I know that I too need some time out just to unwind, stop the routine and goof off. I read recently that the U.S. population has the least amount of vacation time for any industrialized country. So I plan during this summertime period to make the most of it.

News

I am a news junkie. I know the news channel numbers on my cable box by heart and the truth is I consider nothing more satisfying than devoting a solid hour reading the paper from front to back. My Husband frequently sends me e-mail updates of interesting news items and many of friends and other family members let me know where and when the latest was heard. I have often thought that if I hadn't become a lawyer I would have wanted to be a journalist. In fact, my Grandparents, ran a local newspaper when I was a kid. During Junior High I was lucky enough to get to hang out at The Pender Post after school with them and travel Burgaw with my Granddaddy in search of some interesting scoops. The paper's office was right downtown across from the Courthouse where we frequently traveled to see what was going on or talk to those "in the know." Mostly though people seemed to just stop by their office and tell them what they had heard. Despite the town's small size, I was absolutely enthralled and rapt with attention at what was gonna happen next! One interesting blog containing up to the minute legal interest items is the Wall Street Journal's law blog. Try it and let me know what you think.

New legislation

For those of you following developments in the family law arena, check out Florida Senate Bill 2532. According to the Senate's website Governor Crist signed the bill late last month. It appears to encompass a great variety of changes to existing law in this area. One of the most interesting aspects of practicing law is the fact that the law itself is not static but is constantly being written, revised and interpreted. It makes our work anything but dull!

Mediation versus litigation

Many people ask me why bother with mediation? After all if they could agree they wouldn't be here, need me, etc... But the fact is with mediation, or for that matter any alternative dispute resolution vehicle, the parties are really in the "driver's seat". Instead of the Court telling the parties the results, the parties make the decisions that are best for their family themselves. Lawyers are useful at mediation to help the parties know the likely results in Court and to help the parties stay on task actively working on resolution. In mediation, lawyers serve mostly as problem solvers rather than adversarial litigators. Some cases can't or aren't solved through mediation and some are solved beforehand through direct discussion. But on the whole, for most cases mediation is very useful resource. This week I attended 1 mediation and I believe I have 5 or 6 set in then next 30 days. My hope is that all of them end with a satisfactory agreement.

Father's Day

I was contemplating what story I should tell about my Dad in light of Father's Day this coming Sunday. There are so many that come to mind. My Dad has always been like a steady solid rock to me. He is funny, smart and strong.

Once when we lived on a pond he built a bridge to cross to the other side where my Grandparents lived. Now of my Dad's talents engineering and building are not high on the list, so the building of this bridge was quite the project. When it was finally complete he worried that my sister and I could fall in and wondered what we would do if we did. So one day soon after the three of us walked down the bridge he knocked me in with his right hand and her in with his left hand. Of course we hooted and hollered and finally scrambled out of the murky water. I was much more upset about the possibility of swimming with snakes than of getting wet. But ultimately my Dad saw that we could both swim well and take care of ourselves. Then I guess he felt a little better about the bridge.

Not to long ago I was trying to teach my oldest to ride her bike. It was quite a grueling process, mainly because she was so scared of falling down. She had dressed herself in layers of long clothing, put knee and elbow pads on and strapped on her helmet to mitigate the perceived threat despite the sizzling temperatures. So finally in an attempt to quell her fears, when she was standing in the grass barely balancing with one foot down I reached over and nudged her over. She fell on the grass with the bike on top unhurt but a little shocked and yelled, "Hey Mom, Why'd you knock me over!?" Well like my Dad my ultimate goal is to know that she can take care of herself. But even more I want her to know that she can take care of herself. She rides now, probably in spite of me, but I do feel a little better. Hopefully she does too.

Technological advances

Technology is a truly double-edged sword. How many of us have accidentally sent an e-mail to someone we didn't mean to? Maybe hit forward instead of reply or vice versa. I made that error once back when e-mail was just becoming common place, at least common place for me. I think it was in law school. But once was definitely enough.

Of course with all this technology we have the ability to be instantly connected and to see new information continuously updated. Generally that is a good thing. I am enjoying having this space and certainly enjoying the feedback I have received about this blog. The interactive characteristics of a blog and the ability to update it so easily, as opposed to a website, make it full of possibilities. As I said I so look forward to your comments. Keep them coming!

Back and Forth

So I came in and worked over last weekend. I followed up on a variety of relatively small matters that had been sitting on my desk awaiting my attention. I typed up lots of memos to my Assistant and action plans to follow-up on.

Now four days later all of those items are back in my office. My Assistant did follow-up. But now they are back to me for some further action I must take.

When she just deposited 10 additional files on my desk she kind of snickered. So now my office looked like hers did. I do not begrudge the work by any means but somehow I do prefer my desk being clear. I guess she does too.

I know some people feel the sign of a messy desk is the sign of major work underway and I cannot dispute that notion but I much prefer organization on my desk. I generally make lists of the work needed to be done with priority preference identified. So then my desk top is actually clear but for that list. But I also know some who would say why waste the time on a list and just dive right in.

Let me know which system you prefer; but for now I am off to "dive in!"

Being Present

As I run through life busy with errands, dinner, and meetings, I often find myself briskly answering my children's questions with the shortest, most "to-the-point" answer possible. I generally think of my straight forward bottom line analysis as a positive character trait. Especially when it seems a fast answer is important.

But lately at home it seems I am constantly in a hurry, just trying to get from point A to point B. And then on occasion, one of their thoughts or questions stops me dead in my tracks. I can almost see the gears turning in their heads and I am just amazed by the depth of their thought or question. It is in these little moments when I can really be present with them that I feel like I am right on the edge of realizing the so called meaning of life. Enjoying their growth, their curiosity and their imagination is just such a gift; I have to remind myself more frequently to slow down and listen.